http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/en-UKMokoFeed10http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/4c/555e2511ed124af3d52d200561e8e7_160x200.jpghttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/midgetdads_top~202748/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-26:/2005/09/26/midgetdads_top~202748/Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:49:12 +0200 <p> MOUSTACHES...</p> <p>5.FREDDIE MERCURY, Killer Queen,killer 'tache.<br> 4.GARETH HALE, Funny man,(not haha funny.)hilarious facial hair!<br> 3.THE CHUCKLE BROTHERS, Paul or barry, take your pick.<br> 2.ADOLF HITLER, Mass murdering fuckhead....great tache though.<br> 1.MING THE MERCILESS, ruler of mongo and all its moons. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/midgetdads_top~202748/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/midgetdads_top~202748/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/a_brand_new_game~202699/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-26:/2005/09/26/a_brand_new_game~202699/Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:30:54 +0200 <p>Hey everyone, today we're going to play a fun game. (Not who is my daddy, and what does he do). We're gonna play let's hunt and kill Jamsey P.<br> Has anyone heard his song "Nookie"?.... If you have, no doubt you also loathe his smug fucking face and shitty reggae beats.<br> The game is easy, whoever makes it on to the nine o'clock news having hunted and killed Jamsey p,(in any way that takes your fancy) is hailed as the winner.<br> I for one plan to use a claw hammer......HAPPY HUNTING! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/a_brand_new_game~202699/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/a_brand_new_game~202699/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/first_grey_hair~202695/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-26:/2005/09/26/first_grey_hair~202695/Mon, 26 Sep 2005 20:30:12 +0200 <p>A momentous event for every man is the day when you discover your first grey hair!<br> Mine was discovered by my girlfriend and caused quite a panic for me. I'm only 27 by a couple of weeks and still consider myself a kid, even as i type i'm wearing a skeletor hoodie and watching the Simpsons. The problem is that now i'm gettin on should i buck up my ideas, buy a suit and start listening to middle of the road music like, "the lighthouse family", or "dido", or do i still rock out to megadeth, watch zombie films and fall over when drunk?<br> Maybe i'll get a sports jacket, take up golf and welcome my mid-life crisis...<br> No wonder Kurt Cobbain painted the walls with his brain at 27... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/first_grey_hair~202695/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/26/first_grey_hair~202695/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/midgetdad~181935/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-14:/2005/09/14/midgetdad~181935/Wed, 14 Sep 2005 23:14:58 +0200 <p>What better way to abase the once "alpha male" of the household than scabbily cut and paste his head over a picture of a small child. I used to fear and respect my father until the fateful day that i pasted his big moustachiod head on my younger brother's shoulders and laughed so hard a little pee came out......</p> <p> Fellow Bloggers anyone you fear can be easily transformed into a comedy buffoon, Liberate yourselves.....Or just piss your dad off by showing the pictures at family gatherings...Guaranteed to lighten the mood of any funeral.</p> <p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/e/evilneillandhismidgetdad/img/santa.jpg" title="HAPPY XMAS."><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/e/evilneillandhismidgetdad/img/santa_small.jpg" border="0" alt="HAPPY XMAS."></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/midgetdad~181935/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/14/midgetdad~181935/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/gladiators_rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~175553/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-11:/2005/09/11/gladiators_rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~175553/Sun, 11 Sep 2005 22:04:48 +0200 <p> Remember the good ol' days, before your weekend was hijacked by the pub. Those saturday nights when the highlight of the weekend was watching big beefy guys and gals in spandex battle it out with "Ken", a P.E teacher from Hull or "sheila", an ombudsman from shetland...<br> Yes indeed, GLADIATORS was the best programme EVER!!!.</p> <p>Who can forget the mayhem in the indoor arena in Birmingham, and it is due to this that i have compiled my favorite "GLAD", memories...<br> Feel free to share yours........</p> <p>1.AWOOOOOOOOOGA!, John Fashanu's battle cry that was screamed every time a commercial break was due...</p> <p>2.The travellator, Me and my younger brother were constantly being chastised by my parents for running up escalators the wrong way.</p> <p>3.The Wolf, Be afraid of a fat man in a ladies swimsuit. The scariest thing was in fact his perm.</p> <p>4.Shadow, huuuuuuuuuuuuuge black guy. Unbeatable when it came to fighting with the massive cotton buds...Unfortunatley he was into cocaine which may or may not have contributed to his mental staring eyes.</p> <p>5.Ref john anderson. A firm yet fair man who coined many a phrase such as "You will go on my first whistle", and " Contender rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrready!".</p> <p>6.A contender by the name of Wesley "2 scoops" jackson who could jump over a car.</p> <p>7.Hunters girly hair.</p> <p>If i was a gladiator i would definately be called, "The wonder weasle" as i am both wonderfull and weasley. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/gladiators_rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~175553/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/11/gladiators_rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~175553/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_shit_song_cycle~170368/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-08:/2005/09/09/the_shit_song_cycle~170368/Fri, 09 Sep 2005 00:12:01 +0200 <p>I don't know about you, but i have discovered that some songs are shite. However some songs are so shite that the human brain cannot comprehend what it is, causing the brain to overload and the afore mentioned shite song becomes one of the sound tracks to your life....</p> <p>Example. D.j otzi, "hey baby (ooh ahh)". This song is shite no matter what,and due to the fact that morons can join in at the "ooh, ahh" it is a shite that the brain can recognise. HOWEVER color me bads' early 90's single "i wanna sex you up" is soooo bad that in my brain it seems hilarious and thus i laugh my arse off causing me to like the song that once was shite.....Do you see?.</p> <p>so here is my list of shite and so shite it's fantastic songs.</p> <p>Feel free to add your own.....</p> <p>1.Jeff beck,"hi ho silver lining"...Shite!<br> M.c hammer,"U can't touch this"...so shite it's alright.</p> <p>2.Abba,"dancing queen"...shite!<br> Def leppard,"pour some sugar on me"... so shite it's outta sight.</p> <p>3.Gerry and the pacemakers, "ferry cross the mersey"...Shite!<br> Gazza and the geordie boys, "fog on the tyne"...so shite it makes my night.</p> <p>4.The corries, "flower of scotland"...patriotic "coo" shite.<br> Vanilla ice, "Ice, ice baby... so shite, that shit is tight!</p> <p>5.Bill withers, " a lovley daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"...so shite it's just not right.<br> Kriss Kross,"jump"... so shite that shite's just right.</p> <p>EVIL NEILL. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_shit_song_cycle~170368/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/09/the_shit_song_cycle~170368/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/07/mormon_mayhem~168459/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-07:/2005/09/07/mormon_mayhem~168459/Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:49:01 +0200 <p>Hello bloggers!<img src="/img/smilies/icon_wave.gif" alt=":wave:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Don't you just hate it when your doorbell rings at the most inconvieniant time heralding the arrival of gods army of good guys.<br> As soon as you open the door you realised you've made a mistake,as they stand there in their heavenly white shirts,little tartan ties , black name badges and mile wide smiles beckoning you to "come unto christ"....Most people just slam the door but i find that the cowards way out....<br> I was raised as a mormon and thankfully i got out before they got me for good.well,i didn't get out i was kicked out for the three immortal sins.1=sex,2=drugs,3=rock and roll.However this has given me such a insight into the mormon psyche and now i use it to liberate the poor morms instead of tearing them a new one over their mind controlling nonsense...<br> With that in mind i have developed a game to play with them...<br> The purpose of the game is simple...mess with their heads.(bonus points are awarded).<br> Now i know some people think,"live and let live",however through personal experiance i am somewhat bitter and i think a church that takes money from kids deserves a bit of criticisim...</p> <p>So,let the game begin...</p> <p>1.When they knock at your door answer it in the nude...If you're a woman not only will you scare the s**t out of our virgin elders but you will also cause them to have immoral thoughts a mortal sin in itself.If you're a guy pretend to be gay, most mormons fear homosexuals or for bonus points tell one that you used to date the other.This will cause suspicion and fear in the other.</p> <p>2.When they ask you about god, tell them that when you were 14 you prayed to god in regards to which church you should join.Then tell them god said you had to start your own church because all the rest were wrong.This is how their church got started.</p> <p>3.Tell them that they can come in ,crank up the heating and then explain that you only have, tea , coffee or alcohol to drink because the water is contaminated.</p> <p>4.If one of them is an ethnic minority (NOT WHITE) ask why they still have dark skin as they see that as a curse in the book of mormon.</p> <p>5.Ask when you can get all your wives,polygamy was practised then stopped.(Eventhough allmighty god said it was cool).</p> <p>6.Challenge one to a fight because if they hit you they get sent home dishonourably...The shame.</p> <p>7.Tell them there was a mix up and you got sent to earth by mistake and you rooted for satan all along.</p> <p>8.Pass an electric current through your door bell...Dance morms Dance!</p> <p>9.Inform them that there is no archeological evidance to back up the book of mormon,for example steel is mentioned but didn't exist in the americas at that time.</p> <p>10.Tell them you are not interested but you freind is and promptly send them to any one you hate...Give them a name,it really freaks the intended victim out.</p> <p>You can also scratch their cars,dismantle their bikes,freak them out by calling them in the middle of the night,make them cry and get them sent home....remember it's for their own good.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/07/mormon_mayhem~168459/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/07/mormon_mayhem~168459/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/5_things_i_hate_today~156836/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-01:/2005/09/01/5_things_i_hate_today~156836/Thu, 01 Sep 2005 22:05:06 +0200 <p><img src="/img/smilies/grayupset.gif" alt=":##" class="middle" border="0"> 1...The way bill murrays career is going.Ghostbusters to life aquatic in ever decreasing circles.<br> 2...Men who dress in "baby blue" or "baby pink" colours...It's wrong no matter what your hairdressing girlfriend tells you.<br> 3...The "girl" from the black eyed peas,who looks like a man...who has been in a fire...which has been extinguised by a good old size 9 boot.<br> 4...Make over programmes that turn their victims into "better" people by straitening their hair,brushing their teeth and have them drone on about how ugly they were.<br> 5...Akon,because all R'n.b is benign winging crappy beige music,used by retards to seduce retards.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/5_things_i_hate_today~156836/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/5_things_i_hate_today~156836/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/things_to_do_in_elgin_cont~156786/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-09-01:/2005/09/01/things_to_do_in_elgin_cont~156786/Thu, 01 Sep 2005 21:38:20 +0200 <p>2...COOPER PARK.</p> <p> By day "the cooper", is a beautiful kids play park surrouned by lush greenery and tall trees.The park also has a pond on which young lovers can go boating on...but by night it's a differant story...<br> youths in hoodies roam the lush green grass picking fights with people who are,A=nae fae elgin,B=nae fae the right part of elgin or C=not related to them.... However if you tell the hoodie that you are his mothers cousin they tend to leave you alone....<br> There's a checklist below to see if you got the most out of your cooper park experiance........</p> <p> 1,Did you run around on the top of the spinning top whilst pissed..?<br> 2,Did you find a young couple fumbling inside the small train in the kids adventure park.?<br> 3,Did a tramp ask for 50p to get their bus home,whilst declaring his undying admiration for you and your "snazzy" shoes?<br> 4,Did you get pushed in the cooper park pond.?<br> If you haven't experianced all these,just hang around for a while...you soon will.</p> <p>midgetdad.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/things_to_do_in_elgin_cont~156786/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/09/01/things_to_do_in_elgin_cont~156786/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/midget_dads_review_of_elgin~152309/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-30:/2005/08/30/midget_dads_review_of_elgin~152309/Tue, 30 Aug 2005 20:01:30 +0200 <p>My last comments on Mcfly have been met with extreme hostility from a group of chav girls on my estate. The leader ,a rather large and robust girl with several soverigen rings has threatend to "smash my head" so i decided to flee to a land where the air is pure and the people are so ugly they make me feel good about myself...<br> I took the train, it cost too much.The refreshments were Inadequate.(no sunny d or coco pops!)and served by a man who looked like ming the merciless!.<br> Got there about 11 AM,and planned my day.<br> Now there is very little to do in Elgin so if there is anyone looking to visit here's what to do........</p> <p>1-THE HIGH STREET.....Find that special antique bargin at any one of the 92 second hand shops there seem to be in Elgin....Sit on the steps of the saint giles church and people watch. It wont take long untill you spot a genuine Elgin freak.There are soooo many. The only draw back to this is either the freak will see you and assume you want to be his/her new pal or you will get piles from sitting on a cold step laughin your arse off at them....you can go into woolies and try to figure who's a customer and who's killing time...You can go into the "Urbanology" sateboard shop with a carrier bag from rival skateshop "e.s.p" and see the looks you get....<br> All in all the high street is a way to kill time by looking at things you have no intention of buying......<br> MORE TO FOLLOW>>>>>>>>>>>... if i can be botherd.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/midget_dads_review_of_elgin~152309/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/midget_dads_review_of_elgin~152309/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/why_am_i_a_computer_sped~152184/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-30:/2005/08/30/why_am_i_a_computer_sped~152184/Tue, 30 Aug 2005 18:51:50 +0200 <p>I was all set to write about my short holiday in elgin but I srewed up somwhere along the line.....<br> I am a fool when it comes to computers!<img src="/img/smilies/graysigh.gif" alt=":**:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>All i'm good for is dot to dot puzzles and finger paintings....and occasionaly singing the theme tunes to dangermouse/only fools an owses. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/why_am_i_a_computer_sped~152184/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/30/why_am_i_a_computer_sped~152184/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/evil_neill_salutes~146151/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-27:/2005/08/27/evil_neill_salutes~146151/Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:47:18 +0200 <p><u> Police academy 1-96</u></p> <p>From the moment me an my old nana rented out police academy on that on that cold saturday night in 1987 i knew i had stumbled upon somthing truly special...</p> <p> Never has a child and old lady laughed so hard and heartily at the comedy bufoonery of the police force,well not since our local bobbie fell of his bike and into a pond.</p> <p> Who can forget such characters as Eugine tackleberry,the right wing gun nut whos gung ho attitude has been a huge influence on george bush's war on terror. Or the chap who did all the impressions and sparked off millions of bad copycat kids all hailing the abiltity to "do" a hellicopter or machine gun...</p> <p>So what ever happened to comandant lassard and his merry band of missfits huh?.......well i don't know,but i reckon they are doing the following......</p> <p>Mahoney/Steve Guttenburg......male stripper.(he has the<br> uniform and the ass!)<br> comamdant lassard.............international play boy.<br> currently being sued for<br> bigamy.<br> Captain harris................childrens entertainer.<br> proctaaaaaaaaaaaaar!..........kfc assistant manager.<br> jones(The impressions guy)....family man.currently on<br> tour doing all the music<br> for the sparks.<br> callahan......................Hitler youth spokeswoman.<br> hooks.........................Jailed for violent assault.<br> Hightower.....................Body gaurd to mick hucknell<br> Mr z..........................speech therapist.</p> <p>I'm not so sure about the rest.possibly still with the force.</p> <p>I reckon the police academy movies should be shown to all kids,especially those in minker parts or britan like pollock in glasgow, in a bid to improve relations with the local constabulary an thus reduce crime...who's with me!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/evil_neill_salutes~146151/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/evil_neill_salutes~146151/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/midget_dads_review_of_the_new_mc_fly_sin~146053/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-27:/2005/08/27/midget_dads_review_of_the_new_mc_fly_sin~146053/Sat, 27 Aug 2005 16:51:44 +0200 <p><a href="http://data1.blog.de/blog/e/evilneillandhismidgetdad/img/dad1.jpg" title="taxi"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/blog/e/evilneillandhismidgetdad/img/dad1_small.jpg" border="0" alt="taxi"></a></p> <p>"pish!pure pish...." midgetdad 2005</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/midget_dads_review_of_the_new_mc_fly_sin~146053/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/27/midget_dads_review_of_the_new_mc_fly_sin~146053/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/23rd_august~142742/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-25:/2005/08/26/23rd_august~142742/Fri, 26 Aug 2005 00:07:09 +0200 <p>5 things I hate today.......<img src="/img/smilies/grayupset.gif" alt=":##" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>1.people who tell you off in a singy happy voice in a bid to ease<br> their concience.<br> 2.Aiden from sex and the city.The man is a turnip.I hate him.<br> 3.Scotish nationalists.Freedom!...from what? economic stability?<br> 4.insrance ads, that effin e sure mouse.(Bring back michael winner!)<br> 5.Aswad.musicall equivelant of the oopsy poopsy. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/23rd_august~142742/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/26/23rd_august~142742/#commentshttp://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/25/evil_neill_salutes~142621/tag:evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk,2005-08-25:/2005/08/25/evil_neill_salutes~142621/Thu, 25 Aug 2005 22:52:44 +0200 <p>THE KURGEN...</p> <p>From the minute the kurgen "rawks" out to killer queeeeeeeeeen in his banged up car you know he's a bad mofo.Standing at a formidable 9 ft high the highlanders main nemesis likes nothing more than to decapitate all his foes in his quest for the prize (which may or may not be a new ford mondeo).<br> Evil facts: The kurgen is from russia like lada cars.<br> : The kurgen credits his gravely voice to<br> smoking woodbines and singing jimmy somer-<br> ville song at kareokee.<br> :The kurgen would have won had the highland-<br> ers love interest not interveined.<br> :The kurgens favorite crisps are wotsits. </p> <p> Evil deeds:Killing scotsmen in battle,Carrying a great<br> big broad sword through manhattan,vice,<br> assault with a pipe,evading police capture,<br> beheading sean connery(YAY!),reducing a<br> historic scotland building to rubble,raci-<br> ally motivated homocide,scewering a vietnam<br> veteran,throwing an old man out a car,stea-<br> ling the car,forcing the old mans wife to<br> ride on the bonnet of afore mentioned auto-<br> mobile,breaking and entering,kidnap,danger-<br> ous driving and destruction of property be-<br> loning to sivercup studios. </p> <p> Evil rating:8/10</p> <p>To veiw the kurgmeister in all glory watch "the higlander" on d.v.d but never EVER watch any of the sequals nor the series as they are god awfull......</p> <p>"If he(the kurgen)wins the prize mortal man will live in an eternity of darkness..." Shir Sean connery.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/25/evil_neill_salutes~142621/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://evilneillandhismidgetdad.blog.co.uk/2005/08/25/evil_neill_salutes~142621/#comments